


Killing Time With Malfoy

by alliekiwi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:15:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23164585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alliekiwi/pseuds/alliekiwi
Summary: A bit of fluff about Hermione in quarantine with Malfoy.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Killing Time With Malfoy

**Author's Note:**

> So here's the thing. There is some pretty serious stuff going on out in the world at present. My country is putting everyone who arrives from overseas into isolation for 14 days as a precaution, and I'm skulking at home for the next fortnight in isolation in case due to contact with a relative who travelled from Europe. 
> 
> Anyway, that made me think that it might be fun for those who are trapped within their own four walls - or even those who aren't - to write a story. A challenge if you will.
> 
> Some suggestions:  
> * Hermione is stuck in quarantine with someone for 14 days - it can be someone pleasant or not so pleasant.  
> * There may possibly be either a distinct lack of toilet paper, or an over abundance of it.  
> * It can be super serious if you like, maybe with Hermione worried about friends and family whilst working on a cure etc  
> * Or maybe it could be a lighthearted piece about going stir crazy - imagine if Hermione was stuck with only Witch Weekly and naughty lingerie catalogues for reading material.
> 
> This is my brief offering, written quickly at 2 am.

**Killing Time With Malfoy**

" _Papilio volant!_ " A white paper butterfly joined the kaleidoscope of identical butterflies fluttering around the room.

Hermione sighed, and batted away one of the butterflies which seemed intent on disturbing her reading - which, quite frankly, she suspected was the reason for its creation in the first place. She attempted to lose herself in her reading, but the errant butterfly returned and was joined by several others. Not to mention, to be honest, the reading material was not as intellectually challenging as she generally preferred. "Must you?" she asked in irritation.

"I'm bored," came the response from the other side of the room. " _Papilio volant!_ " A square of toilet paper separated from a roll and rapidly twisted itself into yet another white paper butterfly.

"I am so regretting teaching you that spell," muttered Hermione.

"You were the one who stole the only reading material in this entire flat," snarked Draco Malfoy, "and left me with this! What am I supposed to do with 48 rolls of toilet paper that doesn't even have the decency to have anything written on it?" He paused. "I suppose, at least it's three ply."

Hermione threw the magazine at Malfoy's head, and was disappointed when he managed to grab it midair before it hit. He looked down at the magazine. "Witch Weekly? You've been hogging this magazine to yourself all day, and it was only Witch Weekly? Please tell me it's not the issue where they try to determine the exact shade of Potty's eyes." He started to flick through, rolling his eyes at some of the more lurid and sensational headlines.

"I am going to kill you," Hermione announced.

Malfoy's head whipped around, his eyes wide and mouth open.

A butterfly took the opportunity to attempt choking him, which Hermione thought brilliant timing considering her most recent statement. Sadly, Malfoy managed to spit it out, and glared at her as if it were all her fault.

"Doesn't killing me seem a little... I don't know, counter productive? … considering we are stuck here for fourteen days so we DON'T die and drag other people with us?" he said sarcastically.

"You were claiming that the toilet paper had nothing written on it, so I suggest we change that." She paused. "We are both intelligent but bored people. And, lets face it, neither of us is particularly fond of the other. I challenge you," she suddenly grinned, "to a competition. We each write down as many creative and cunning ways to do the other in, and at the end of our quarantine we get George to judge whose list is the best."

"Tweedledum Weasley? There's no way I'm letting him be the judge. He wouldn't know a cunning plot if it popped up and bit him on his remaining ear. I want Blaise to judge."

"Zabini wouldn't be impartial - he'd side with you!"

"You think a Weasley would be a fair judge when it involves me?"

Hermione realised Malfoy had a point. "Who do you suggest then?"

There was a pause as both of them thought of who they could get to judge their Lists of Doom.

"Lovegood," Malfoy announced suddenly. "Luna Lovegood."

"Luna?" queried Hermione doubtfully. "Are you sure she won't be biased?"

"Lovegood doesn't have it in her to be biased. Wacky, yes. Insane, or heading that way, certainly. But I can't see her not judging our competition fairly, particularly when we are on the brink of death stuck here with each other because you were idiotic enough to open a locked and warded cupboard in the Department of Mysteries and let out some damn plague that hasn't been seen for centuries. You just have to know everything about everything!" Malfoy ranted. "It's a wonder you didn't drag Potter along on your nosy little quest like usual, but noooo it had to be me!"

Hermione started to argue, but stopped and bit her lip. Malfoy had a point. "Okay, deal. Luna it is. What shall we have as the prize?"

"How about we discuss that later. I'm sure we can both agree to something worthwhile. As long as it doesn't involve more bloody toilet paper!"

"Fine," agreed Hermione. "I can hardly wait to get started on my list. I've been plotting your death in my head for years."

Draco didn't like the sound of that and, rubbing his slightly crooked nose as if it ached, he flung a roll of toilet paper at Hermione before grabbing his own and beginning what would become a very long list.

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, a big thanks to Elizabeth on Granger Enchanted Survivors 18+ for the title! I'm terrible at titles.
> 
> Secondly, the butterflies are based on the little ones our school dental nurses used to make for children out of dental floss and various other dental supplies such as tissue paper and cotton wool rolls. I think Hermione probably saw her parents make those and came up with a spell to mimic them.


End file.
